


I'm Not a Cat Person!🐾

by Tsssukiii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi being pretty but he doesn't notice, Alternate Universe - Cats, Angst? Never heard of her, Barista Tsukishima Kei, Bartender Kuroo Tetsurou, Boys In Love, Cat Puns, Cats, Chef Bokuto Koutarou, Established BokuroTsuki, Inspired by Korean Web Drama: Cat's Bar, M/M, Magic cat boys BokuroTsuki, Magical Boys, OT4, Polyamory, Self-Indulgent, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Your not-so-normal Cafe AU no one asked for but I shall provide anyways, manga editor akaashi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28939260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsssukiii/pseuds/Tsssukiii
Summary: Akaashi is a decent human that leads a pretty miserable life. But when a mysterious Cafe suddenly appears around his residential area, his world to changed for the better. His deadlines aren't as tight, his co-workers was nice to him for a change and he felt a boost in confidence whenever he's doing a presentation. But everytime Akaashi interacts with the 3 very attractive employees that works at the Cafe, he finds them to be very odd. Odd how you say? He doesn't know either, their behaviors were always so...cat-like.It's clear that not everything meets the eye.OrA cafe AU in whereas three magical cats boys helps a normal human solve his mundane problems with a sprinkle of magic. (And accidentally falls in love with him!)
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	I'm Not a Cat Person!🐾

**Author's Note:**

> Me: watches drama to get rid of writer's block  
> Also me: gets brainrot from watching drama
> 
> This fic is inspired by a Korean web drama called: Cat's Bar! If you're interested, you can go search it up on YouTube!
> 
> I found the irony that the three main character cats are an orange Tabby, a grey Ragdoll and a black cat. The second I saw these three colors, my brain was screaming BAKT. So, I did it. I turned it into a fic.
> 
> Tsukishima: Cream Orientation Longhair -https://pin.it/5jXNOP6
> 
> Kuroo: Black Maine Coon -https://pin.it/5poQOgG
> 
> Bokuto: Grey and white Ragdoll -https://pin.it/3zv6k9j
> 
> PLS BOKUTO HAS NO RIGTH TO BE THAT CUTE 
> 
> ⚠️When you see a 🐾meow🐾, think of the sound effect! ⚠️

Long before, in the era before modernization, there lived humans that practice the art of animal magic. Their mastery over this power bought them happiness and joy in life, as they thought that they're more superior than other humans... Soon they started to take their powers for granted, they started a hierarchy that led to mass genocide of non-magical humans, and soon their selfish action led to the anger of the gods. To punish the humans for their greed, the gods cursed these humans to live their life as an animal. The gods also banned their usage of magic. Devastated by the curse, magical humans started to beg for forgiveness by worshipping and being grateful to the gods everyday. Touched by their sincerity, the gods decided to give back their magic, but only at a cost. _The cost to love a human and the human must love them back._

Most of the magical tribe are repealed by this unreasonable price. The non-magicals are the ones who started their curse in the first place so _why_ it is suddenly their duty to love them? The majority of them gave up on humanity and they now live, scattered, in different parts of the word.

Some dwelled in the deep Amazon forest, while some roamed the lands of the Savannah. Some flew high above the mountains while some crawled beneath the earth. Some swam with the ocean waves while...well...others? The bold ones, they run through the jungle built by cement, metal and iron. 

A human infested place where all magical creatures detest. 

A bustling city.

_🐾Meow🐾_

🐾🐱🐈🧶

Akaashi Keiji---a 25 year-old that works a 9 to 5 job for a manga editing company. He hates his life. He hates his job, he swears the stress from that job would make him completely bald before he hits the age of 30. He hates his family, his parents are divorced so he doesn't keep in contact with them. Not to mention that he's dirt poor. Get a pet! Konoha said. It'll be fun! He said. They'll cure your loneliness! He said.

Never ever will he get an animal! Not to mention his terribly dog allergy. He hates any kind of small animal. Specially cats. He hates them with a passion, the fire burns forever in his heart. Those furry demons are the ones that made his life a living hell, they're why his parents divorced in the first place. They're ungrateful, cold and furniture destroying creatures. They scratch, hiss and claw at you. Akaashi was completely convinced that cats are evil when a stray cat tried to claw his eyes out. All he did was pet it! 

He hates everything that revolves around him. 

And that is why, he's black out drunk in an alleyway. Alone. Drunk. Depressed. Did he mention he was drunk? The brunette danced along the walls and talked like a kindergartener than just got his front teeth plucked out of him.

"Hey look! Konoha! A door!" He grabbed the sleeve of his none-existent friend.

His hands grabbed the flat wall like a door knob. With nothing to hold on to, he fell face first to the stone cold pavement, breaking his glasses in the process. The door was actually just a ugly drawn graffiti on the wall.

"What's wrong with me?" He managed to mumble out before the passes out cold.

🐾🐱🐈🧶

"Do you think Kei ran away? It is because we did it too hard on him last night?" Bokuto asked in a guilty tone as he and Kuroo ran along the neighborhood in search for their youngest mate.

"Nahhh. I doubt that! Did you hear how loud he was moaning last night?" Kuroo purred as he replayed last night's scenario in his head. "He's probably just out finding humans to feed him actual food again. Ya know, those fancy stuff humans eat!"

"Are the mice and birds we hunt for him not enough?" The grey Ragdoll whined with ears flopped and pupils blown wide. They've stopped in front of a row of restaurants, Kuroo's heart melts immediately at the sight. He doesn't know how Tsukishima resist Bokuto when he just shows his pouty face. Not single human and cat have ever resisted when he pouts, it's a law. It's a law that Bokuto gets pampered whenever he's sad. A law that applies to everything except Tsukishima.

The black Maine Coon licks the top Bokuto's head gently. "I'm sure he's probably finding food for us. We haven't ate anything except for trash these days. Do you notice the way his tail swishes whenever he gets anxious?" 

"Yeah..." Bokuto nodded.

"He's been doing that tail thing these days and a lot too! And do you remember that time that when he got that big juicy piece of salmon from a fisherman?" His heart ached when he thought of his moonshine, with all the rain hitting him as he walked the docks, meowing at everyone for a piece of food. Kuroo and Bokuto both know how much Tsukishima hates to show submissiveness in front of strangers. But their moonshine did it for their survival, the poor thing was even shivering from the cold when he bought the food back to them.

"He saved all of the food he found for us. Yes, he said he did eat. But not enough! He's just a big ol' softie, Bokuto. He would never leave us."

Bokuto sniffled as he rubbed his checks onto his mate's wide puffy chest. Kuroo is a Maine Coon, the biggest amongst the cat species. So he was naturally, the tallest and biggest amongst the three of them. 

With all the licking and cuddling, some humans stopped to coo at them. One was even generous enough to throw a piece of fried chicken for them. The smell was so delicious that both cat's whiskers twitched at the sound of the chicken dropping onto the ground. 

Bokuto's previously flopped ears immediately perked up, he ran swiftly and picked up the chicken, not forgetting to let the humans touch pat his grey silvery fur as a thanks.

"Let's go and give this to Tsukki!"

🐾🐱🐈🧶🍖

The night was lively with all the humans that roamed the streets. But for Kuroo and Bokuto, the night would only be lively when Tsukishima was with them, under the protection of his two mates. They made twists and turns in and out Tsukishima's favorite hiding spots. In effort to find their missing mate, Kuroo even asked some stray cats for information. 

"Excuse me, but by any chance. Did you guys see a cream coloured Oriental Longhair pass by these areas? Sassy, wears a pair of [glasses](https://pin.it/OfpTysU)?"

The strays narrowed their pupils and growled in annoyance. Kuroo sighed as he and Bokuto continue to run into the night. The Maine Coon was starting to get anxious from all the running around. His brain started to autopilot him through the possible scenarios that Tsukishima can get into.

Falling off a roof? Possible. They fall down the roof all the time when they're hunting for food. Survival rate: 90%.

Dropping into a river? Mostly possibly. Tsukishima hates water though. Survival rate: 50%.

Getting ran over by a car? Definately possible. Tsukishima's one hell of a blind cat. Survival rate: 10%.

Before he can dive deeper into his lists of Tsukishima related catastrophies, Bokuto pawed him out of his thoughts. "Kuroo! Do you hear that?" 

Giving Bokuto a rewarding lick on the head, Kuroo calmed down and focused all of his energy on his hearing. His ears swiveled as he filters out the unwanted distractive noises. Crickets? Nah. Frogs? Huh. Mosquitoes? Yup. 

His tail thrashed around back and forth as he made out the familiar high pitched meows.

"Fu...off!.... I'll....you if you don't... " Accompanied by hateful hissing.

Yup. That's their Tsukki.

The fur at the end of Kuroo's tail stood up. Someone was trying to hit on their _moonshine._ He was undeniably furious. Although Kuroo was physically stronger but Bokuto was faster. "Kei!!" Bokuto dived into a dark alleyway paws first, claws out, ready to defend their baby mate from horny tomcats. He can't help it that their Tsukki is as beautiful as he gets. Lean and muscular at all the right parts, his golden fur glows in the moonlight, any cat would want to get a piece of him. And there in all his magestic glory, is their Tsukki getting mounted by three tomcats.

"Fuck off!!!" Tsukishima hissed as he stayed in a sitting position, ears taped to his head. However his angry hissing did nothing but only excite the tomcats. One of the cats yowled seductively at Tsukishima, to which Tsukishima clawed his eyes at. While the other two has their eyes trained on an intruder, tails in the air like a metal rod.

"Kou!" Bokuto's princess pleaded with his ears folded. His previous ferocious lioness-like demeanor diluted down to now of a newborn kitten, like war commanding queen turning into a soft princess on sight of her knight.

Angered by the tomcats, the fur on Bokuto's back stood up, making him look even bigger than he is. His pupils narrowed as he let out a low threatening growl, "No one can touch Kei apart from us!" He springed up and knocked down the cat that was mounting Tsukishima. The Oriental Longhair finally got free and helped his mate in scratching that bastard to a pulp. 

"Oya? Having fun without me?" 

A sudden big coat of blackness flew past them and blocked Tsukishima's view of the disgusting tomcats. 

"Did we come too late? Our princess," Kuroo said in a winsome way as he stood protectively infront of him with Bokuto by his side.

"No, you came just in time," Tsukishima purred in delight. It always arouses him whenever his mates gets protective over him.

At the sight of the majestic Maine Coon, all the tomcats started backing away in fear.

Bokuto immediately made it to Tsukishima's side and licked the cream cat from behind the ears. Tsukishima closes his eyes as he purred in relief. Bokuto was always the more thoughtful one of his two mates, he knew how to relieve his anxiousness whenever they come across situations such as these. Well, it isn't his first time that he got mounted by horny cats.

"Are you okay baby?" Bokuto asked.

Tsukishima golden eyes fluttered at the Ragdoll affectionately, "It's ok now that you two are here," Bokuto purred as their smallest mate rubbed himself over his chest. 

Kuroo licked Tsukishima's forehead, the latter's ear folding and leaning into the touch. "Let's get a place to hide, I smell a rain storm coming,"

As the three cats are about to leave, a tired groan rose from the ground. The cats jumped on their feet, preparing to flee but the ground suddenly moved and grabbed into Bokuto's tail. Kuroo attacked the ground--no _hand_. Turns out the 'ground' was actually a human that was hidden under thousands of thrown out pizza boxes. No wonder they can't smell him. The moldy pizza was horrendous!

Tsukishima immediately hissed and attacked the humans hand. Not only did the human not let go of Bokuto's tail, he lifted Bokuto into his arms. "Uh guys. Help?" The Ragdoll hissed and bit into the human's hand. Not only did the human not react to the bite, he also hugged Bokuto.

"Aren't you the cutest kitty in the world?"

Kuroo pointed his nose to the air and sniffed a few times. "There's people coming, one from the left, three from the right,"

Tsukishima nooded understandingly. "I can try jumping onto his shoulder and knock him off balance,"

Tsukishima immediately lept into action, he jumped from the wall and onto a trash can, successfully perching himself on the human's shoulder. His paw retracted as pearly white claws revealed themselves. The cream cat was about to scratch the hell out of the human when the human tossed and turned like a spinning top.

"What the hell? Is he drunk?" Tsukishima swayed on the drunkard's sweater.

The brunette human stopped as turned back and pointed at the Maine Coon who's been tailing him. "That's one big dog," 

"Give me back my mates you dumb human," Kuroo growled with his golden slitted eyes, his tail swished back and forth in agitation.

"Pretty doggy," The brunette suddenly ram towards Kuroo, to which the black cat dodged easily. Tsukishima lost balance and fell into the human's arms alongside Bokuto. 

"His grip is too strong Kuroo!"

"Run away! Call Yaku-san for backup!" Tsukishima shouted.

But Kuroo was having none of it, to where his mates are, he'll be there too, with them. "But what if he takes us into his house huh? You guys know what that means..." 

"Means we get bound to him until he loves us and we love him or help him do some kind of favour," Tsukishima hissed with his aeroplane ears.

The brunette knocked into several objects as Kuroo walked beside them, thinking of a strategy to help his mates. But that soon all went down the sewers when the human suddenly hailed a taxi and all of them are forced to go in.

The taxi stopped and they all got off. They now stood in front of a full grey building that is terribly under-maintained. 

"We're living in this shit hole?!" Tsukishima's jaw dropped when he saw all the cracks in the building. "C'mon Kou, let's start struggling harder,"

But their chances to escape are slim as the human already made it to his front door, fumbled around his keys and opened the shitty ratty tatty door. 

All their tiny hearts skipped a beat as the human took his first step into the apartment.

Immediately different colored collars appeared around their necks. Tsukishima with a green collar, Bokuto with a yellow one, Kuroo with a red one.

Tsukishima tugged and pulled around his green collar as he groaned out loud. "Here we go again!"

Bokuto licked the younger's cheek soothingly, "Though this place is shittier than the last place we stayed at, but hey! Look at the bright side, we grant this human's wish as fast as possible then the next thing you know. _BOOM_. We're outta here!"

The human, correction, their annoying bag of flesh as they know by the name of Akaashi Keiji, passed out again as soon as he reached his living room. Leaving his new three cats to roam the tiny apartment.

"One bedroom, one toilet, small living room and tiny kitchen. The apartment is as small as it gets." Kuroo yawned as he jumped onto the sofa and sunk into the cushions. Not bad for a run-down looking apartment. Not soon after his exploration, Bokuto jumped next to Kuroo and took his place in Kuroo's embrace. Both snoring into La-la land.

Seeing the peaceful faces of his mates, his eyes dilates. He's always feels that he's so happy to have two handsome and strong felines as his mates. They've must have been worned out trying to find him. He sighs in overwhelming guilt, not only did they not find food, but they also ran around the whole city just to find him.

Now that they've stepped foot in a human house, that means that they're given temporary magic. The system auto registers them as that they've voluntarily came into the house. Tsukishima can guess why the system was built like this, it was probably because absolutely not a magical being with the right mind would trespass human territory and become their genie and grant them wishes with absolutely no gain for themselves.

Or if they manage to make the human fall for them, it would quite possibly be every magical's dream come true! Not the falling in love part, but it's their magic! They get their magic back. They get their human form back. They get their lives and freedom back.

But this work both ways, it's a double edged sword. Because not only that the human have to fall for them, but they also need to fall back.

Tsukishima's tail curled when he felt the bits of magic starting to seep into his veins. The golden Oriental Longhair was no more, but a beautiful blonde man stood in its place, naked to the boot, except for the yellow scarf that's tied to his neck.

Tsukishima stretched out, he groaned in relief when he heard his bones crack. It's been a while since being in his human form, it's strange for him. Having walking on four legs nearly the half of his life. But then he reminds himself that his ancestors are originally human too.

The first thing the blonde did was drag Akaashi into his bedroom. The brunette was lighter than he thought, he easily threw him into his bed and took a cover for the brunette. After that, Tsukishima ran through the house, doing chores because honestly, the place is a exclusive version of a freaking trash can. He couldn't even put up with being near garbage. Kuroo and Bokuto knows the best of it. They always choose places like residential areas to stay at and bring back blankets because they know Tsukishima gets cold easily.

Tsukishima touched the fluffy ears still present on his head and clicked his tougue, the magic must have not came fully back yet. 

He sat down on the small coffee table that's placed in front of the TV. On the table are several, neatly piled letters. Since most of them are opened, Tsukishima took a peek at the letters. The blonde sighed when he noticed most of them are unpayed bills with loans and debts. If Akaashi has too much unpayed bills then that means Akaashi will have lesser money to spend on them and if Akaashi didn't have money to spend on them that means lesser cat toys and food and lesser cat toys and food mean decreased health and decreased health mean they'll get sick and getting sick means they need medicine and medicine means money---it's an endless cycle.

Tsukishima slammed in forehead onto the wooden table and stared at the wall blankly.

But it Akaashi has to chose between having a his wish granted or falling in love with complete strangers, Tsukishima knows that he'll definitely chose to wish. Because apparently, judging by the framed, taped up torn-to-pieces picture of a family on the wall. Tsukishima squinted to make out the words scribbled along the wooden frame, 'I fucking hate cats,' It wrote.

The blonde's ears fell flat sideways, brainstorming an idea to earn them money. Looking at his peaceful mates, his ears immediately perked up when a sudden inspiration hit him. This might actually solve their money problem! He knows what to do!

"Let's open a Cafe!"

**Author's Note:**

> Not me listening to the cats outside fight while writing the Tsukki scene😩😩😩
> 
> Do you guys sometimes feel a calling...? I feel like someone, is trying to reach to me. Idk. Then again maybe I'm just looking too deep into the signs XD
> 
> Second chapter will be Akaashi and Tsukishima's first meeting, just Akaashi discovering how beautiful the Kei is!🥺


End file.
